How to Handle Transition
It’s inevitable… at some point of our lives we experience the awkward space between no longer and not yet. Do you recognize it? That shift when life as we know it no longer fits, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t make life be like it used to be.
While transition can be welcome, it can often be enough to make us want to wrinkle our nose, hide away, or even run for the hills. Sometimes it’s swift… but often times it creeps up on us slowly over years as the patterns of our day-to-day activities become more mundane and disenchanting.
Three Signs Transition is Upon You:
1) Loss of motivation, passion, or integrity. One key indicator it’s time to make a change is the loss of happiness. If you find yourself schlepping through life just ‘doing time’ – the time has come to shift something.
2) What you were doing no longer works. This means that coping mechanisms, vices, and our core identity no longer feels right. Change comes when what we had been doing no longer works, and/or when our negative patterns exert themselves allowing for our coping tools to become crutches.
3) That nagging feeling. Of Course this is one of the signs! It’s likely the most important one… If you have the gut feeling that you need to make a change, the clock is ticking and it’s only a matter of time before you change consciously or the universe arranges the transition for you.
Ugh… I get it! Transition can be scary. Letting go of what was means surrendering the known for the unknown. And let’s be honest… the unknown isn’t exactly comfortable. This discomfort is exactly the reason so many people stay in unhealthy relationships, jobs, or situations; the familiar is ‘safe’ to the ego. There is a cost to this, however, as stagnant energy weighs heavily on body/mind/soul.
So, since we know that change is inevitable and now we know some of the signs, how do we deal with it once it comes?
First things first, surrender. Stop trying to avoid the inevitable. I invite you to summon your courage and softly look at what no longer works in your life.
Secondly, accept. This one may take a second. Change will come whether we want it to or not, but accepting that something we once held dear no longer works can be a challenging process. Don’t rush, and be gentle with yourself as the process of acceptance unfolds.
Third, Don’t React. So often a major change is followed promptly with a rebound of some sort… the trophy girl/boyfriend, the red sports car, the exotic shopping spree, plastic surgery, etc. While there is nothing wrong with any of these choices, they often indicate the ego attempting to compensate by feeling safe, important, or comfortable in the change. As sucky as it can be, NOT REACTING and just sitting with the discomfort can be a pivotal part of allowing the new energy of our next level to come into our energetic grid/life.
I’ve lived through many massive identity transitions in this life so far (drug addict/pinup model/paramedic/healer etc.) and I’m currently in the middle of yet another ‘upgrade’. While it’s still not a comfortable process, my experience is life only gets better if I’m willing to allow it.
Let’s cut to the chase: When transition comes, our experience with our death/rebirth will be unique to us. Trusting and finding compassion for ourselves as we squirm around in the discomfort allows for new energy to come into our field.
*In this space, I keep in mind what I ultimately want to create in my life – but also let go of any attachment to how I will get it or how fast it will come… This has proven key to the continued up-leveling of my life.
Breathe. Trust. Surrender… You’ve got what it takes to make it through the unknown. You are strong, you are safe, and you are loved. Above anything, willingness to feel the vulnerability of not knowing what’s next can be the exact medicine that propels you into something even more amazing.